Thursday, 17 August 2017

Six Pillars of Raila Election Petition - 2017

It seems Jaromogi’s son does not live around here. Jukistopia that is. People have shrugged off serious stuff and casually walked out of court and you bother taking them there with hearsay. People who take impunity for breakfast and who can swallow a whole school compound, pap, and not belch require hard evidence not ati “polling lines were not gazetted”. Gazeti is for wrapping meat. These people do sh9.2 billion computer-typing errors and you insult them by saying that they added themselves a miserable 200 votes. Surely!

Long after the form 34s were fed into the IEBC servers and the final tally declared the vote count is still increasing on the IEBC database like a Nairobi Water meter that counts upwards daily whether there is water or not and all you can say is that there was a queue with more than the 500 people stipulated in law. Haven't you heard of aspirations or is it that you don't understand our Kenyan humour? Some laws are just aspirations, okey? Okay. Some laws are for, as reggae DJ would say, "to nice up the show". In country where you a meeting called for 9:00 a.m. starts at 12:00 noon, surely 500, 700 and 990 is the same number so stop splitting hairs.


The threshold of integrity is so low in this country that all the grounds the son of Bondo mentions can be termed frivolous and an abuse of the (supreme) court process. These are matters that can, intra vires,  be decided on by a Karengerere (village court presided by Headman). A first year ligation student can wade through them.

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Declaration of Guilt

Martin Niemöller, a Lutheran minister, started off as a supporter of the Third Reich in the build up to Nazi Germany. It was easy. It was understandable. It was acceptable. Germany, and the rest of Europe, was emerging for the ravages of the Great War (later called First Word Wwar). They were difficult years, those, and the people were crying out for peace. Any kind of peace. The Bolsheviks (read socialist) and then later Jews became easy scapegoats. Antisemitism reached fever peak pitch in the mid thirties. When the Gestapo started night raids and banning of groups and individuals the people tacitly approved. Martin Niemöller was one of them.

Was he sailing too close to the wind? He would soon find out. By and by the regime started Nazification of the churches and Niemöller among other pastors protested but by then it was too little too late. For their effort
Himmler threw them into concentration camps among the same socialist, Jews and other minorities. He did seven years.
It is said that God works in mysterious ways. After the seven years and in an effort to pacify the guilt gnawing away at their souls, the pastors made this self-indicting Stuttgart Declaration of Guilt:
“Through us infinite wrong was brought over many peoples and countries. That which we often testified to in our communities, we express now in the name of the whole church: We did fight for long years in the name of Jesus Christ against the mentality that found its awful expression in the National Socialist regime of violence; but we accuse ourselves for not standing to our beliefs more courageously, for not praying more faithfully, for not believing more joyously, and for not loving more ardently.”

But Niemöller is mostly remembered for this lamentation:

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out because I was not a Socialist.Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out because I was not a Trade Unionist.Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

What about you? Is there an ill you are condoning just because it is perpetrated on your perceived enemy? Do you approve of the regime subjugating other communities because they are not “your people”? It may appear right for the regime to bend the law slightly to suit a situation, your situation, but bit by bit of bending the law will eventually break. And once the law breaks you will not have a law to lean on when your turn to be down-pressed comes.


Take care of little injustices and the big injustices will take care of themselves

Wednesday, 14 June 2017

One Man One Vote One Unga

You have not heard from Jukistopia for a while. Lucky you. Many things have happened in Jukistopia worth posting home about. But although the spirit has been willing, the wi-fi was weak. It still is so I will rush this.

In the runner up to the 1992 elections, there was a sudden maize shortage country wide. No crop failure had been reported. No crop failure could have been reported. Under the wise leadership of Mr. Moi, such things were reported by the wise man himself. And he did not until he did. When he did, it was at the right time and the right place. The roadside. This time the roadside was at Uthiru-koporishon.
One Wednesday, on Waiyaki way while on his way home from his house, after hitting the tenth pothole to the left, the twelve to the right and a couple in between, he figured he was at Koporishoni and parked his white Volkswagen kombi. Between the kombi and mama mboi's kioski, Masha, (his peers called him wa-ngara) was misty-eyed roasting maize on an NCC labeled dustbin cover for one shilling a cobfull. Em-O-1 ordered one piece, gave a one hundred bob note, did not ask for change, was not given change and walked to the kioski. At the kioski he ordered a bottle of coke soda and a kakungumu, gave a two hundred shilling note, was not given change, did not ask for change, and started addressing the crowd that had gathered.

Answering a question that had not been asked, and after threatening “hivi karibuni nita toboa….blah blah blah…” he revealed that some disgruntled elements working for and with their foreign masters were causing artificial unga shortage to disgrace the good, god, given government. The people ululated and urged him on; "toboa! toboa! toboaaaa!". When he was done with his tirade, Uthiru girls secondary got sh20,000 for nyayo milk, Uthiru boys secondary got sh2,500 for nyayo milk, and the people continued getting hungry or angry or both….whatever. Let me say people were getting restless. So the mtukufu, who then was referred to as ehm-o-one in hushed voices, summoned a full cabinet meeting. It was full house the following Thursday. Here are the names of those in attendance.
1.       Moi.
After thorough deliberations a solution to the biting maize shortage was found. The solution was so simple the cabinet was surprised he had not thought of it before. But would it work? The cabinet crossed his fingers. The solution was code named one man one vote one unga. The methodology was, depending on your region you either got a packet of unga plus a voting card or a packet of unga in exchange to your voting card. Come d-day, the results were as spectacular as they were surprising. In places where voters had sold-out their cards for unga, somehow they never turned up to vote, perhaps due to their full stomachs, while in places where voters had kept a packet of unga and vote, the turnout was up to a high of 110%, perhaps again due to their full stomachs. The cabinet made note of that. On their part, the election observers noted that though the election results might have been slightly influenced by maize flour, by and large they reflected the will of the people. The cabinet made note of that too.

Come the 1997 elections, how uncanny! There was another biting maize shortage and all the necessary noises about foreign masters. There was also something else. A cabinet meeting. A shorter cabinet meeting this time but that none the less delivered a devastating win.

Why all this pesa nane history? Well, It was not me who taught that, “A people without history is like a tree without roots”. It was Marcus Mosiah Garvey. With #elections2017 looming large, the prodigies of nyayo intrigue and chicanery did not need to visit the Sage of Kabartonjo. They have a mama for that. In any case the sage made sure they would never need to à la proverbs 22. (Train a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not turn away from it). Why redesign a wheel then when “Turnkey” is the new buzz word?

So, the young Turks turnkey maize solution was from the shelf activated lock, stock and barrel with a simple rationale. It has worked before, it will work now, it will work in future. I mean it is simple algebra of extrapolation (and digital logic). If from 0 to N is true then upto N+1 must also be true, right? Wrong!
It appears there is a bug in the solution. The barrel is spitting fire the wrong way.
It appears the bug in the Kenyan maize stalk has reached the Mexican maize stock. The bug is depleting the Mexican maize stock before the unga reaches the voter.

But these are tough boys who have handled worse personal challenges. They have wrestled with vultures and emerged triumphant. Will they now worry about ravens and crows? No. Nothing will stop another five years nyayoism inspired hegemony.