Friday, 5 August 2016

Speed, just put up Bumps

Once upon a time, before Equity came to save long suffering bankees (I suppose that is what you call bank customers), we,  the then customers, complained to the management that the banking halls at Haile Selassie and Queensway branches were too congested. The situation was such that queues were snaking into a never ending coil inside the halls and sometimes overflowed into the streets. I particularly remember one cold July morning. This morning, while in such an end-month queue I had to suck-in my public opinion (that was getting more and more public) not to impress the ladies, but to make way for a Kenya bus. The bank was very responsive. A couple of memos were exchanged. One went to UK. Another came back. Within one year a novel idea to end all banking hall congestions was mooted. That is how one afternoon, the premises officer, in his dark-blue suit, a carnation on his lapel, and a thick brown folder under his arm, smoked a State Express 555 cigarette into the CEOs office with the plan.  In their wisdom, and quite helpfully I must say, the big blue bank enlarged the banking halls to accommodate the long meandering queues and voila! the congestion vanished.
I sometimes wonder whether they ever got to figure out that they could have achieved the objective by increasing the throughput at the cashier service counters.

I remembered this this morning when I found that someone, too clever in half, has erected bumps on Mandera Road, Kileleshwa and for a good reason. The genius behind this decision I am made to believe is because of the bumps on Oloitokitok road. 

You see, the new Oloitokitok road came equipped with numerous bumps that have made driving on that new road a nightmare (daymare too if you may). Now, many drivers have been complaining that in the section between Kileleshwa and Valley Arcade, it is faster to use the meandering Mandera/Othaya roads than the straighter and shorter Oloitokitok road.

So to correct the imbalance, Oh, how clever of them, the new Speed Bumps Authority, sometimes also called NTSA erected equalising bumps (I hear the constitutionally correct name is hump) on the Mandera/othaya Road circuit. I am sure you won't believe this but the problem was solved instantly - it now takes longer to drive on Mandera Road than Oloitokitok Road.


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