“I don’t know what Toto does with his money”. Bogi Benda, a mug of beer in hand, laments to his wife, Sofi. “He is always borrowing money from me. Today it was 10K last month it was 15K”.
With a half forlorn-half bewildered look Sofi responds “I agree that that is a lot of money. He should manager his money better. Then she asks, “But does he pay you back?”
“Of course not”, answers Bogi. “I have never lent him any”. And he takes a major swig off his mug.
(this was a good place for chuckle cause the rest of the stuff is drab.)
Now it so happens that some Kirinyaga wheeler dealers want their money back. The whole ksh.52m of it? But from whom? From their Governess. The same one who made a billion vaporise at the NYS? Yes! Same one. But that is water under the bridge and irrelevant here.
This time, it so happens that one humid Tuesday afternoon, the Uhurists of Kirinyaga were summoned by their leaders led by the Governess - Okay. Governess is archaic so let us change that that Governoress - the Uhurist of Kirinyaga were summoned by their governoress to Sifa Gardens in Mũcakuthĩ, Kirinyaga County in which venue a number of important proclamations were made.
- The Uhurists were told that the region has 351,000 registered voters but 48,000 of them did not participate in the August 8 polls. So this time ALL the residents of Kirinyaga had decided to ALL come out and vote.
- Although the Uhurists had sworn to vote to the last person come the repeat elections on 26th October, the leaders had decided that they were not going to run a campaign that costs them nothing. So they, the leaders, had raised Sh51.9 million (enough to cover 1k per voter na 4.71m ya kutoa) for campaigns for re-election of and for H.E President Dr. Pst. Uhuru Esq, C-in-C, kenyatta,CGH,voter no.1.
- The money was to be used for roadshows and rice to lure voters for re-election of and for H.E President Dr. Pst. Uhuru Esq, C-in-C, Kenyatta, CGH, voter no.1.
But now a section of Kirinyaga county politicians have put Governoress Ann Waiguru, née Ani Mumbi, on the spot over the Sh51.9 million. They claim that the roadshows money was no-show. That the committee can only account for the Sh11 million that was received and deposited in the campaign account yet MCAs, MPs and other conmen pledged 52 million. Ani was not a signatory to the account. No. Two MCAs, an MP and an Uhurist from the HQ were. But they want poor Anni to explain anyway.
One Uhurists explains, “Only ten cars and a bicycle were branded.” Adding “Rice was eaten during one roadshow at Wamũmũ, yes, but basmati, pishori or any rice for that matter is free in Mwea. This is a scandal.”
When asked how much of the 52m million was his contribution the chief complainer retorted, “I did not contribute anything. But money was raised. 52 million of it. We want her to account for it.”
A resident has confided to Juskistopia the whole saga is a sideshow.